Do you still check on your Facebook? I do once in a while, usually to check on the Buy Nothing groups I belong to.
I used to post on Facebook often, mostly to share stories and things that made me laugh, start conversations, and (deep breath) occasionally offer political commentary. Yes, dear ones, I am one of those, and this is something I accept about myself. It’s been on my to-do list since I created this website to copy some of the non-political crowd favorites over to this blog.
Today I got a Facebook Memory notification about a post from seven years ago, and I remember the subject of the story fondly, so here we finally go.
The following is from June 24, 2014:
Last week while on vacation in Sea Isle City I ran out of sunscreen, so I went down the street to the little beach junk store to buy a bottle for infinity dollars.
While the clerk was ringing me up I noticed her iPhone on the counter; the screen had a huge crack and was shattered in the bottom right corner. “Oh no!” I said, “What happened!?”
An older lady was walking by behind me as the clerk replied, “Oh, you know, I just had a little mishap.” She watched as the lady disappeared down an aisle, then leaned in and said in a low voice:
“You wanna know the real reason?”
“Obviously,” I said eagerly.
She looked around, then motioned for me to lean in:
“This bitch, she’d been needling me and NEEDLING me, for months now. I warned her to stay away from me, but bitch didn’t listen.” She grinned. “So I saw her out the other night and my friends saw me goin’ up to her and yelled at me, ‘NO, DON’T! GIRL IT AIN’T WORTH IT!'”
At this point I was pumping my fists encouragingly. She continued.
“But I didn’t listen. I went up to that bitch and we were having some words and finally I was just all, ‘BITCH I’M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT!’ And I threw my phone at her STUPID head!”
“YES!” I hollered, “THAT IS AWESOME! WHAT DID SHE DO!?”
“Bitch screamed, ‘YOUR PHONE’S BROKE! WAS IT WORTH IT!?’ And I hollered right back, ‘HELL YEAH IT WAS WORTH IT YOU DUMBASS!'”
She nodded stoically. “And it was. It was totally worth it.”
Words For Friends 