On being white

I realized I was a racist white lady in college.

Now I’m trying to earn new writing work via this website, so a quick elaboration is necessary. Until then, I thought not being racist was easy; that it simply means you don’t sympathize with the KKK or use the N-word, and that you believe Black people to be equal.

…but that’s just, “well, duh” stuff.

I hadn’t yet recognized how my life trajectory is different from any Black person’s because of the privilege I carry by being “white.” I hadn’t realized that I was harboring prejudices that have been strategically instilled in me — in all white people, unless your mother is someone like Jane Elliott — culturally since toddlerhood.

After graduating I got lazy about continuing the work of un- and re-learning what racism truly looks like, and only started back up again after Trump got elected and Black people were all, the fact that you are surprised about this shows how ignorant you’ve been to reality.

And I humbly offer four bits of advice:

1. Make peace with the fact that you’re gonna learn embarrassing things about yourself while undertaking this education. I got my ass handed to me by a Black woman just a few days ago when I said something I didn’t realize was racist. (I was in the process of trying to defend a white friend against another white lady who was trolling her.) And once you think you feel a certain way about something, get ready to have it challenged — because Black people don’t all agree about the best ways to dismantle institutional racism.

2. Figure out a knowledgable friend who has been at this learning process for a while, and is ready and willing to discuss your white people questions. Our Black friends don’t have the time to be teachers for the whole lot of us. Discussion is welcome here on this website. 🙂

3. Seek out Black people to follow & listen to before you listen to people like me.

4. Act. Follow your gut when choosing what to do. What gets you especially stirred up? What existing skills can you use? Look for local advocacy groups you agree with, and see what they’re recommending people do; what events to attend, which elected officials to reach out to, bills and policies to support, etc.